emptyness

 so i came across this article last night, and kinda feel, "hm, that's kinda make sense, the list are actually happen"

Why Do I Feel Empty: When A Lack Of Meaning Is Something More Serious

yes, i know. so...

they listing some common reason why you feel empty:

Stressful or Hard Situations

i lost my dad last year. it did not hit hard immediately. and i think i don't really realize how much it actually affect me in day to day basis. i would not say i have a recent break up because there are no 'relationship' to begin with. but my decision to pull out and make a clear distance, somehow feels like heartbreak.

An Unfulfilling Job or Other Unrealized Goals

i currently waiting for CPNS. it is weird (even for me) to anticipating it but here i am... i just start kinda feel so bored at work, so...

Anxiety and Depression

i'm not really sure about this, but i think i don't feel any anxiety as like a few years ago (if that's even a real anxiety). depression? maybe.

 Too Much Media

i would say that is true. i've been watching too many series before and now i don't feel like watching anything. i watched Hotel del Luna last week, it was great, i finish 16 episodes in 3 days, omg. then i feel horribly empty right after. like, "and now what?"

Too Much Social Media

FOMO, yes. i hardly wants an update but i was out scrolling on twitter like crazy. i even keep looking on areajulid, oh my GOD. 

negative emotions, yes. i do feel it everytime. like, i don't understand why everyone seems to be triggered by everything. i mean, if you don't like it, why not just move on? why bother taking a video or picture then post it on menfess? its like you walk in a pedestrian with open nasty drainage, you would not look at that smelly nasty drainage as you walk, right? you just keep walking and look away right? i don't understand people of the internet, really.

its addictive, yes. even with all of that, i keep opening it. i could spent at least 10 minutes every time i open a social media.

 Death of a Loved One

yes, as i mention before. the stage of grief is not absolute. even after experiencing all the stage, you still can experiencing another stage several times.

Feeling Like You Don't Have a Purpose

this is what i feels like this few days. as i ask about "why do we exist anyway?" on my previous post.

Eating Disorders

well, i tried to balance my meals but i do feel something is wrong with my digestive system. i feel gassy and bloated for a long time. i thought, its because i keep eating late at night (because i did). i used to eat around 9pm, sometimes as late as 12pm. i don't eat veggies and fruits enough too. i'm kinda afraid that i'm currently developing GERD, so i have been trying to fix my eating habits.

Friends, Relationship, or Family Issues

hm, there is indeed one thing that bothers me a lot. about my mom.

How to Combat Feelings of Emptiness

Journaling

hm, i was doing it a few months ago. i just deleting the app. because i feel i have nothing more to journal about. i will considering it again.

Set Life Goals that Establish Meaning

i don't even know what i really want tho, but okay.

Make a Conscious Effort to Acknowledge Your Feelings

currently doing it, okay

Engage in Activities You Used to Enjoy

i have 2 books to read and a painting waiting to finish, i will do one of it today.

Talk To Support Groups

hm, i don't know where i can find it but, i will search about it later...

Don't Avoid People and Reach Out to Those Close to You

hmm, okaaayyy hahahaha