death

i got the same feeling of "I'm done". funny how i can't really remember when i got it. is it last night? or the night before? the lingering feeling is somehow stronger, i feel like if i'm not saying "i'm not done yet" out loud, i might slipped away.

i try not to worry about this feeling but... it is indeed bothering me. scare me. a lot.

i just thinking about it when this cross my mind. he said one of his ex had died. but i don't know when. is it when they are still in a relationship or after they broke up? kok gw bahkan gak nanya sama sekali gimana perasaannya? i treat it just like a TMI. ya gw terlalu bodo amat sama orang lain sih. thats actually good and ironic, haha. now thats also bothering me.

my chest kinda hurt for quit sometime when all this overthinking happening.

then i remember saying, "ya gak rugi nyenengin emak sendiri, kapan lagi, mumpung bisa" the other day. now i feels like i'm going to die.

hh.

all that "my chest kinda hurt" really fits my overthinking.