i figure this out

you know whenever i'm feeling like this, i just need to know what cause me all of this.

before, it was anxiety. once i can tell myself, its fine, no need to worry. thats end.

for i dont remember how long, i've been like this. and i can't figure out what happen to me.

now, thanks to Five Feets Apart, i know what happen to me. maybe.

its survivor guilt. probably.

i've been questioning the purpose of my existence A LOT.

why im still alive? when other kids dead.

why my life is fine? when other have a lot of difficulties?

idk, i think one of my high school friend death shock/affect me more than it should be.

and how life get easy on me, when others get it hard...